I was driving home today, and thinking about a thought I had blogged on almost two years ago. It jolted me to remember that I even had a blog. What shocked me even more was the fact that I've actually written on this wall in the past year. I had thought my blogging days were the thing of the long distant path and sweet memories from my Junior year of college. What do you know...they weren't.
So here I am again beginning a new phase of blogging. Come to think of it, I think my blogging streak ended because of some embarrassing things I had posted on facebook, which led me to halt my internet commentating. Well, I'm back at it.
Tonight, well today actually, I've been spending quite a bit of time in the Bible book of Daniel. I have had the most incredible experiences today as I've learned about prophecy in this book and gained some understandings on end time events which I had never heard or considered before. I've been so excited I can hardly contain myself or keep from crying. Have you ever had goosebumps all over your body because you were excited/anticipating something. Well, I did today. I wish I could share with you all the I'm reflecting on, but it would take hours and pages to try to explain my rambling thoughts. Plus, I don't yet have all the theological insights fully arranged in my head. I do know one thing. God is good. He has an incredible plan that spans through time, and in the end...He wins and we get to be with him!! How wonderful and exciting is that. Oh, I just can't get over it!
Showing posts with label Spiritual Reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spiritual Reflection. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Two Hymns and a Spiritual
Give Me Jesus - performed by Jeremy Camp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dca0P7w9ZQ
Come Thou Fount- performed by Jars of Clay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f7tx25O9XM&feature=related
Be Thou My Vision - performed by Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIZei7Xi6i8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dca0P7w9ZQ
Come Thou Fount- performed by Jars of Clay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f7tx25O9XM&feature=related
Be Thou My Vision - performed by Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIZei7Xi6i8&feature=related
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Isaiah 24:1-6
1)Behold, the LORD lays the earth waste, devastates it, distorts it's surface and scatters its inhabitants. 2) and the people will be like the priets, the servant like his master, the maid like her mistress, the buyer like the seller, the lender like the boffower, the creditor like the debtor. 3) The earth will be completely laid waste and completely despoiled, for the LORD has spoken this word. 4) The earth mournes and withers, the world fades and withers, the exalted of the people of the earth fade away. 5) The earth is also polluted by its inhabitatns, for they trangressed laws, biolated statues, broke the everlasting covenant. 6) Therefore, a curse devours the earth, and those who life in it are held guilty. Therefore, the inhabitatns of the earth and burned, and few men are left.
I'm currently taking a class called "Environmental Ethics". We talk a lot about our responsibility to be stewards/caretakers of the earth and about issues facing the planet such as pollution, trash, food crisis, clean water, etc. I was reading Isaiah this morning and this passage (subtibled "Judgement on the Earth") has a little to say about how we should view what's happening around us, but also our responsibility toward it.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Gospel and the Plow
For my Missions in the 21st Century course I am doing a presentation of Agricultural Missions. I just read the following excerpt from a book on the topic and found it to be not only interesting, but also relevant to how I currently feel and my interest in missions.
I went to India having specialized in philosophy an hoping to be an evangelist. I ded up by being a missionary farmer. I have had friends tell me they could not see why I am interested in the things in which I am interested. They ask what plows, harrows, tractors, silos, threshing machines, and better cattle have to do with the evangelization of India. Bulletins upon the use of manure and silage are good, but what is their value as missionary tracts?
I am accused of having lost my first love and of having grown cold, of having become a materialist, and of having lost my aspirations, of being indifferent to spiritual and eternal things, of caring only for the things of time and sense, te things that shall pass away, that are not eternal.
I realize that I am living this life only once, that if I make a mistake with it, there is no chance to come back again and do the thing right. I understand that the Will of God is the supreme things for my life, the only thing that really matters. It is not whether I am a missionary that matters, or not a missionary, but wherever I live and whatever I do, God’s Will is first, the controlling factor the determines the whole of my life. Further, I am not afraid of His Will. Trying to obey it has led me to do some things I would not have done on my own initiative. But I have always found that His will has been infinitely larger and better than my own will for my life. When choosing my own course for myself I have made so many mistakes, missed the way so often, that I gladly turn over the guidance of my life to His Will and trust fully. Should I for any reason whatsoever fail to do His Will with my life, I should consider that the greatest possible tragedy. I am anxious to do His Will as soon as I see it. There is often great difficulty to know what His Will is.
Sam Higginbottom – “The Gospel and the Plow” - 1921
I went to India having specialized in philosophy an hoping to be an evangelist. I ded up by being a missionary farmer. I have had friends tell me they could not see why I am interested in the things in which I am interested. They ask what plows, harrows, tractors, silos, threshing machines, and better cattle have to do with the evangelization of India. Bulletins upon the use of manure and silage are good, but what is their value as missionary tracts?
I am accused of having lost my first love and of having grown cold, of having become a materialist, and of having lost my aspirations, of being indifferent to spiritual and eternal things, of caring only for the things of time and sense, te things that shall pass away, that are not eternal.
I realize that I am living this life only once, that if I make a mistake with it, there is no chance to come back again and do the thing right. I understand that the Will of God is the supreme things for my life, the only thing that really matters. It is not whether I am a missionary that matters, or not a missionary, but wherever I live and whatever I do, God’s Will is first, the controlling factor the determines the whole of my life. Further, I am not afraid of His Will. Trying to obey it has led me to do some things I would not have done on my own initiative. But I have always found that His will has been infinitely larger and better than my own will for my life. When choosing my own course for myself I have made so many mistakes, missed the way so often, that I gladly turn over the guidance of my life to His Will and trust fully. Should I for any reason whatsoever fail to do His Will with my life, I should consider that the greatest possible tragedy. I am anxious to do His Will as soon as I see it. There is often great difficulty to know what His Will is.
Sam Higginbottom – “The Gospel and the Plow” - 1921
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Amberican Dream
In the last couple of weeks I've finally discovered what it is I want to do with my life. Hopefully, and I believe it to be true, this is also what God is calling me to do. I've had passions and desires for several things through my lifetime. I never really thought I was passionate about anything until about a year ago when I realized I actually am.
Passion One: I'm passionate about missions. I really want to be a missionary and live in another country. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while. This all came about maybe 3-4 years ago. When I was a freshman in college I was an education major because I wanted to teach elementary school kids in a poor Spanish speaking country. That isn't what I imagine myself doing any longer, but I still love missions, missionaries, people of various cultures and countries, etc. Most recently this passion has translated into an interest in agricultural mission work. My church supports a woman who works in Guatemala with Food for the Hungry teaching people how to grow food and working on ways to provide them with clean water. Up until about three weeks ago when I began to formulate what I"m about to share she had my dream job.
Once I discovered that passion for missions and agriculture, it became very difficult to stay in school. I wanted to go NOW...like yesterday. (Patience is not my strongest Fruit of the Spirit). Once I get an idea I'm ready to jump in and get it done...pronto. As I was thinking more about the prospect of living outside the United States it also dawned on me how much I love it here and how often I take this country for granted. A missions trip to the Dominican Republic in March reminded me of this fact. Although I still want to live in another country for at least year (one of my life goals) I also really desire to just live here in the US too. We're called to be missionaries wherever we are.
Passion Two: I've been told by people I have a very holistic personality, which I guess means I care about the person both physically and non-physically (emotionally and spiritually). Through out my growing up years my family often had other people staying in our home. At first it was my aunt while she was in college, then a few missionaries and people for a weekend here and there, a family who was waiting for their house to sell, then a couple exchange students, a single mom, and currently a single woman who's been dealt a rough life and just needed a place to stay. In the future I'd love to have a guest house or a basement apartment that would be open for homeless, missionaries, or other people God sends across my path to stay. If I never set foot on foreign soil again, that would be my mission. I'm passionate about hospitality-making people feel comfortable and at home within whatever space they enter. To be a person (and my home an environment) that is open, inviting, comforting, and friendly.
Passion Three: This one ties into the first passion, or is at least strongly correlated. It's not about missions, but it's about food. I'll be the first to admit I love to eat. Mmmmmm... but that's not the point of this passion. I'm not passionate about eating, but I am passionate about nutrition and good food. Yes good tasting, but more importantly healthy. My freshman year at Bethel I became very sick. I know much of it was intense spiritual warfare, but another was an unhealthy lifestyle. I had successfully avoided the freshman 15 and had actually lost 6 lbs. I thought I knew what eating healthy was, but I didn't. By the time stress, bad diet, and unhealthy lifestyle all piled up I was not in a good place. I told my mom "I just don't feel healthy. I try to eat right, I excersize, but something is just not right." So I went to see a nutritionist who put me on a really strict "Get Healthy Again" diet. What I learned was not only more about food, but also about what eating healthy really is and how we as Americans have is completely, 99%, absolutely messed up. Our food system is broken, just like this fallen world, we produce our food in a way that is unhealthy for us, the animals, and the land. We have created mono-cultures in our fields and our grocery isles. Everything is processed, fortified, salted, and loaded with sugar. "Food has just the sum of it's nutrients" (Michael Pollan - In Defense of Food) We don't let land be fallow, we spray with fertilizers, pesticides, and who knows what else*. Not what God intended, and not healthy. I go to Mexico or the Dominican Republic and see the kids eating cookies and juice constantly. No wonder many of them have diabetes by the time they're 18 (I know some personally). I'm passionate about educating people about eating balanced diets, low in sugar and processed food products. I want to grow as much of my own food as I can, and live off my own land. I also want to teach others (especially the world's poorer residents) how to use their resources to produce good food efficiently without exploiting the land so they can feed sustainably feed their families.
*I'm not trying to put down the farmers of America, I'm the grand-daughter, niece, cousin, and best friend to several of them, and I live in a rural area of Wisconsin. I know they are just trying to make a living like every other person in this country. However, the practices and methods now put into place (thanks to Earl Butts, corn subsidies, and corporate big shots) have become harmful. Did you know we produce enough corn in the US to feed the world, but instead we masquerade it into all these different products so we can find sneaky ways to use it here in the US. Companies are just dying to find more ways to pack more corn and empty calories into our diet.
Passion Four: Part of me just wants to be a stay at home mom. This isn't to say I don't want to pursue a career or somehow live the completely unrealistic vision of the "American Dream". Although at first I felt that being in the workforce would make my somewhat more meaningful to me, I've now realized this to be most completely untrue. I like to see progress, I like to be efficient, improve upon ideas, come up with ideas of my own. If I'm not learning, I'm bored. I have to get out of the house, see something, interact with people, work with my hands. I've sometimes wondered if being a stay at home wife/mother would be extremely boring to me. Then there is the whole idea of homeschooling, what do I do there? I wanted to be a teacher...for other peoples kids...but my own?? Well I'm not so sure. I have now realized two things about children and the future. Being a mom is a mission field. Our children are the only thing we leave behind on this earth. They are the vessels we send into a future that will be dirtier and darker than the world we now live in. If I never set foot on foreign soil again, or started a home ministry for missionaries, my mission would be this...motherhood. The best thing I can do for the future is bless it with Godly children who can be the missionaries of tomorrow. No, it's not official missionary training school, but in someways it is. So although I feel completely too independent and inadequate to be a mom anytime soon. I've realized that God may sometime in the future call me to that position of ministry. Oh, and as a final note, I'm planning on adopting my kids. Why be selfish enough to have my own kids when there are thousands who are already destined for the world ahead who need to see love and be loved? I guess you could say I'm passionate about adoption too. I was adopted into God's family and if I'm not passionate about that I have some prioritizing to do.
We're coming to the end. It's time to tie it all together.
So what is the Amberican Dream? This is what was revealed to me on Tuesday, July 20 2010 in my car (where the best thinking happens) on my way to work.
I had just been in Milwaukee the day before at "Growing Power" which is a sustainable greenhouse right in the city. They grow so many types of food organically in these innovative systems which allows for recycling of nutrients and use limited resources. They have solar panels, collect their rain water, compost discarded food from grocery stores, grow fish, chickens (eggs), goats, and plants all on a very small plot of land. I like many of their ideas and would love to start something similar someday. It all ties together. Everything I've ever wanted to do with missions, with food, with where I live all came to this one pinnacle.
What I'd do if I had my dream life (of course what God has planned is my dream life, but if I was planning it this is how it would go). I'd move to Florida next year after I graduate where I'd work with marine animals and plants and get some more SCUBA certifications, then I'd save up some money and go to school at a place called ECHO- a missionary minded organization which grows different plants in different habitats mimicking those found around the world. They work to discover which plants grow best in which environments and produce seeds to send to missionaries. Then I'd go abroad for 2-3 years doing missions work as described above (Passion One). Then I'd move back to the US with my husband (hopefully I'll have one by then) and we'd start a greenhouse/farm where we could train students and missionaries in how to build and run these self sustaining low cost and low power systems so they can take them back to their own rural areas and build them to feed the local people (Passions One and Three). Of course they could stay with my family (Passion Two) or in a missions house which I/we would hopefully have. Then I/we would also go to different countries a few times a year to help assist in starting up operations for those who can't come to our training. This whole ministry would all be small scale so I would still be a stay at home mom and of course kids love playing in the dirt and with plants and animals :D (Passion Four).
Hopefully that made some sort of sense. It's all a bit jumbled and so interconnected it's hard to organize my thoughts.
We'll see where God leads and how much of this actually happens, but for now this is what I'm going to pursue. Usually when multiple things "click" together like this it's only by divine intervention. God has to be pretty obvious for me sometimes, and this all seems to work together. It not only builds upon my interests and passions it's also completely realistic (which is a miracle in itself...I can be a dreamer most of the time). I'm excited beyond belief for what the future holds and where God leads. Is this is in line with his will and plan? Ask me again in 25 years and maybe by then I can let you know. :)
Passion One: I'm passionate about missions. I really want to be a missionary and live in another country. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while. This all came about maybe 3-4 years ago. When I was a freshman in college I was an education major because I wanted to teach elementary school kids in a poor Spanish speaking country. That isn't what I imagine myself doing any longer, but I still love missions, missionaries, people of various cultures and countries, etc. Most recently this passion has translated into an interest in agricultural mission work. My church supports a woman who works in Guatemala with Food for the Hungry teaching people how to grow food and working on ways to provide them with clean water. Up until about three weeks ago when I began to formulate what I"m about to share she had my dream job.
Once I discovered that passion for missions and agriculture, it became very difficult to stay in school. I wanted to go NOW...like yesterday. (Patience is not my strongest Fruit of the Spirit). Once I get an idea I'm ready to jump in and get it done...pronto. As I was thinking more about the prospect of living outside the United States it also dawned on me how much I love it here and how often I take this country for granted. A missions trip to the Dominican Republic in March reminded me of this fact. Although I still want to live in another country for at least year (one of my life goals) I also really desire to just live here in the US too. We're called to be missionaries wherever we are.
Passion Two: I've been told by people I have a very holistic personality, which I guess means I care about the person both physically and non-physically (emotionally and spiritually). Through out my growing up years my family often had other people staying in our home. At first it was my aunt while she was in college, then a few missionaries and people for a weekend here and there, a family who was waiting for their house to sell, then a couple exchange students, a single mom, and currently a single woman who's been dealt a rough life and just needed a place to stay. In the future I'd love to have a guest house or a basement apartment that would be open for homeless, missionaries, or other people God sends across my path to stay. If I never set foot on foreign soil again, that would be my mission. I'm passionate about hospitality-making people feel comfortable and at home within whatever space they enter. To be a person (and my home an environment) that is open, inviting, comforting, and friendly.
Passion Three: This one ties into the first passion, or is at least strongly correlated. It's not about missions, but it's about food. I'll be the first to admit I love to eat. Mmmmmm... but that's not the point of this passion. I'm not passionate about eating, but I am passionate about nutrition and good food. Yes good tasting, but more importantly healthy. My freshman year at Bethel I became very sick. I know much of it was intense spiritual warfare, but another was an unhealthy lifestyle. I had successfully avoided the freshman 15 and had actually lost 6 lbs. I thought I knew what eating healthy was, but I didn't. By the time stress, bad diet, and unhealthy lifestyle all piled up I was not in a good place. I told my mom "I just don't feel healthy. I try to eat right, I excersize, but something is just not right." So I went to see a nutritionist who put me on a really strict "Get Healthy Again" diet. What I learned was not only more about food, but also about what eating healthy really is and how we as Americans have is completely, 99%, absolutely messed up. Our food system is broken, just like this fallen world, we produce our food in a way that is unhealthy for us, the animals, and the land. We have created mono-cultures in our fields and our grocery isles. Everything is processed, fortified, salted, and loaded with sugar. "Food has just the sum of it's nutrients" (Michael Pollan - In Defense of Food) We don't let land be fallow, we spray with fertilizers, pesticides, and who knows what else*. Not what God intended, and not healthy. I go to Mexico or the Dominican Republic and see the kids eating cookies and juice constantly. No wonder many of them have diabetes by the time they're 18 (I know some personally). I'm passionate about educating people about eating balanced diets, low in sugar and processed food products. I want to grow as much of my own food as I can, and live off my own land. I also want to teach others (especially the world's poorer residents) how to use their resources to produce good food efficiently without exploiting the land so they can feed sustainably feed their families.
*I'm not trying to put down the farmers of America, I'm the grand-daughter, niece, cousin, and best friend to several of them, and I live in a rural area of Wisconsin. I know they are just trying to make a living like every other person in this country. However, the practices and methods now put into place (thanks to Earl Butts, corn subsidies, and corporate big shots) have become harmful. Did you know we produce enough corn in the US to feed the world, but instead we masquerade it into all these different products so we can find sneaky ways to use it here in the US. Companies are just dying to find more ways to pack more corn and empty calories into our diet.
Passion Four: Part of me just wants to be a stay at home mom. This isn't to say I don't want to pursue a career or somehow live the completely unrealistic vision of the "American Dream". Although at first I felt that being in the workforce would make my somewhat more meaningful to me, I've now realized this to be most completely untrue. I like to see progress, I like to be efficient, improve upon ideas, come up with ideas of my own. If I'm not learning, I'm bored. I have to get out of the house, see something, interact with people, work with my hands. I've sometimes wondered if being a stay at home wife/mother would be extremely boring to me. Then there is the whole idea of homeschooling, what do I do there? I wanted to be a teacher...for other peoples kids...but my own?? Well I'm not so sure. I have now realized two things about children and the future. Being a mom is a mission field. Our children are the only thing we leave behind on this earth. They are the vessels we send into a future that will be dirtier and darker than the world we now live in. If I never set foot on foreign soil again, or started a home ministry for missionaries, my mission would be this...motherhood. The best thing I can do for the future is bless it with Godly children who can be the missionaries of tomorrow. No, it's not official missionary training school, but in someways it is. So although I feel completely too independent and inadequate to be a mom anytime soon. I've realized that God may sometime in the future call me to that position of ministry. Oh, and as a final note, I'm planning on adopting my kids. Why be selfish enough to have my own kids when there are thousands who are already destined for the world ahead who need to see love and be loved? I guess you could say I'm passionate about adoption too. I was adopted into God's family and if I'm not passionate about that I have some prioritizing to do.
We're coming to the end. It's time to tie it all together.
So what is the Amberican Dream? This is what was revealed to me on Tuesday, July 20 2010 in my car (where the best thinking happens) on my way to work.
I had just been in Milwaukee the day before at "Growing Power" which is a sustainable greenhouse right in the city. They grow so many types of food organically in these innovative systems which allows for recycling of nutrients and use limited resources. They have solar panels, collect their rain water, compost discarded food from grocery stores, grow fish, chickens (eggs), goats, and plants all on a very small plot of land. I like many of their ideas and would love to start something similar someday. It all ties together. Everything I've ever wanted to do with missions, with food, with where I live all came to this one pinnacle.
What I'd do if I had my dream life (of course what God has planned is my dream life, but if I was planning it this is how it would go). I'd move to Florida next year after I graduate where I'd work with marine animals and plants and get some more SCUBA certifications, then I'd save up some money and go to school at a place called ECHO- a missionary minded organization which grows different plants in different habitats mimicking those found around the world. They work to discover which plants grow best in which environments and produce seeds to send to missionaries. Then I'd go abroad for 2-3 years doing missions work as described above (Passion One). Then I'd move back to the US with my husband (hopefully I'll have one by then) and we'd start a greenhouse/farm where we could train students and missionaries in how to build and run these self sustaining low cost and low power systems so they can take them back to their own rural areas and build them to feed the local people (Passions One and Three). Of course they could stay with my family (Passion Two) or in a missions house which I/we would hopefully have. Then I/we would also go to different countries a few times a year to help assist in starting up operations for those who can't come to our training. This whole ministry would all be small scale so I would still be a stay at home mom and of course kids love playing in the dirt and with plants and animals :D (Passion Four).
Hopefully that made some sort of sense. It's all a bit jumbled and so interconnected it's hard to organize my thoughts.
We'll see where God leads and how much of this actually happens, but for now this is what I'm going to pursue. Usually when multiple things "click" together like this it's only by divine intervention. God has to be pretty obvious for me sometimes, and this all seems to work together. It not only builds upon my interests and passions it's also completely realistic (which is a miracle in itself...I can be a dreamer most of the time). I'm excited beyond belief for what the future holds and where God leads. Is this is in line with his will and plan? Ask me again in 25 years and maybe by then I can let you know. :)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
I'm I Being Heard?
Just some thoughts:
As I was making breakfast this morning, this quote popped in my head. Not really sure what triggered it, but it's led me on a thought train which I wanted to share with you.
I was thinking about how we as Christians acknowledge God with our mouths, but deny him with our lives. What if it was the other way around? At first it seemed a little crazy, and perhaps "unchristian", but the more I thought about it I don't know that it's such a terrible idea. What if we did follow God is our actions, in our lives, but denyed him with our tounge. Not meaning we swore and took his name in vain, cut others down, or just did/said terrible things, but rather that we didn't claim to be followers of Christ. What if our lives spoke it so strongly that even our words couldn't convince others we weren't Christians.
This led to the old addage "actions speak louder than words". It's truth. I think God could have sent a prophet in the Old Testament to said those very words. It might have sounded something like:
Anyway about it I think we need to reflect on that idea. If actions speak the loudest, then are we whispering for the kingdom? Seriously, think about it. If we are called to declare the Glory of the Lord, are we nothing more than a whisper in the world of sinful actions by ourselves and non-believers. Even the heavens cry out, rocks and stones, the world he created, and it's not using words. Is is possible that inanimate objects could have a louder voice than we do? I guess it is? If each action were audible, perhaps a musical note or phrase, would the melody of Christ be heard in the symphony of our lifes, or would it be overpowered by a clanging gong and a crashing symbol. Is that all people can hear? I think of the Casting Crowns lyrics.
"The number one cause of atheism is Christians. Those who proclaim God with their mouths and deny Him with their lifestyles is what an unbelieving world finds simply unbelievable.
-Karl Rahner
As I was making breakfast this morning, this quote popped in my head. Not really sure what triggered it, but it's led me on a thought train which I wanted to share with you.
I was thinking about how we as Christians acknowledge God with our mouths, but deny him with our lives. What if it was the other way around? At first it seemed a little crazy, and perhaps "unchristian", but the more I thought about it I don't know that it's such a terrible idea. What if we did follow God is our actions, in our lives, but denyed him with our tounge. Not meaning we swore and took his name in vain, cut others down, or just did/said terrible things, but rather that we didn't claim to be followers of Christ. What if our lives spoke it so strongly that even our words couldn't convince others we weren't Christians.
This led to the old addage "actions speak louder than words". It's truth. I think God could have sent a prophet in the Old Testament to said those very words. It might have sounded something like:
"O listen people of Israel, live your life as a testimony to God, for actions speak louder than words, thus sayith the Lord."
Empty hands held high...If not joined with my life, I sing in vain tonight.
May the words I say, And the things I do...Let my lifesong sing to You.
-Lifesong by Casting Crowns
Now what? I don't know. That's for you to figure out. I guess we might need to examine our lifes, and our hearts. From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Am I Being Israel?
This morning I've been working on my application to be an RA here on campus next fall. Part of the application process requires that I write a 1-2 page essay about main things or people who have shaped my life. Being the semi-slacker that I am, I though I could pull up something from my past and perhaps use parts of it in my essay. In the process of doing so I began to realize something about myself and my life. My time here at Bethel has been a struggle, my whole college experience in general has been, but the beautiful thing is that God has been here in it all. Below is a clip from something I wrote freshman year...
This fall when I arrived at Bethel University, I thought I had my whole life planned out and knew what I was supposed to do with my life. Within weeks it all crumbles away until I was left searching for the very meaning my existence. It was then that God taught me that I needed to trust him in all things. Even though I had no major, no idea how I was going to pay for college, very few friends, and was homesick, he showed me that I wasn’t in control and if I surrendered everything he would take care of it for me. I just had to follow. If this is where I’m supposed to be (at Bethel), He’ll provided the money, and I believe He will. He also gave me the most amazing group of Godly friends that are so beyond what I could have imagined. They’re not just close friends, their family, brothers and sisters in Christ.
Money has been a constant struggle. I came here not believing I would stay more than a year. I distinctly remember sitting in the Great Hall while the president welcomed new freshmen who in four years would be graduating in that very same room, but even as he said it I "knew" it wouldn't be true. Now here I am 2 years later, back at Bethel despite my "wanderings". I just now realized something mightily important. I've been struggling with being Israel. How is this you might say...well let me explain. I often read the story of Israel and just can't understand how they can keep missing the point. God delivers them, they show disbelief, he provides, the build an idol, he shows them a miracle, they do things their own way. Why can't they just see what God's doing! Why do they forget every two seconds. I'm not going to get into the theology behind it all, but I do want to relate it to my current situation. Bethel is the wilderness, it is a place where God has led me, I don't know where I'm "going" on this journey, but I do know that a promised land (the rest of my life and hopefully a job) is on the . Why is it then than every time I get hung up on finances it seems like the end of the world, and I wish I was "back in Egypt". He delivers me, then a few weeks later I'm crying out for manna, it falls from heaven, and by the next semester I'm dry and thirsty, so he pours forth streams from a rock, but I forget after summer rolls around and...here I am again. God has proven himself so many times in my journeyed at Bethel-even just this week. I don't have any money-I mean none- to be able to pay for next semesters tuition. Logically that = no school, but I know this is where I need to be, this is where I'm called, and if I just get out of my own way God will have room to work like he always has. So this is me, leaping with faith, into next week. To the world it isn't wise, but I'm in the world, not of it.
This fall when I arrived at Bethel University, I thought I had my whole life planned out and knew what I was supposed to do with my life. Within weeks it all crumbles away until I was left searching for the very meaning my existence. It was then that God taught me that I needed to trust him in all things. Even though I had no major, no idea how I was going to pay for college, very few friends, and was homesick, he showed me that I wasn’t in control and if I surrendered everything he would take care of it for me. I just had to follow. If this is where I’m supposed to be (at Bethel), He’ll provided the money, and I believe He will. He also gave me the most amazing group of Godly friends that are so beyond what I could have imagined. They’re not just close friends, their family, brothers and sisters in Christ.
Money has been a constant struggle. I came here not believing I would stay more than a year. I distinctly remember sitting in the Great Hall while the president welcomed new freshmen who in four years would be graduating in that very same room, but even as he said it I "knew" it wouldn't be true. Now here I am 2 years later, back at Bethel despite my "wanderings". I just now realized something mightily important. I've been struggling with being Israel. How is this you might say...well let me explain. I often read the story of Israel and just can't understand how they can keep missing the point. God delivers them, they show disbelief, he provides, the build an idol, he shows them a miracle, they do things their own way. Why can't they just see what God's doing! Why do they forget every two seconds. I'm not going to get into the theology behind it all, but I do want to relate it to my current situation. Bethel is the wilderness, it is a place where God has led me, I don't know where I'm "going" on this journey, but I do know that a promised land (the rest of my life and hopefully a job) is on the . Why is it then than every time I get hung up on finances it seems like the end of the world, and I wish I was "back in Egypt". He delivers me, then a few weeks later I'm crying out for manna, it falls from heaven, and by the next semester I'm dry and thirsty, so he pours forth streams from a rock, but I forget after summer rolls around and...here I am again. God has proven himself so many times in my journeyed at Bethel-even just this week. I don't have any money-I mean none- to be able to pay for next semesters tuition. Logically that = no school, but I know this is where I need to be, this is where I'm called, and if I just get out of my own way God will have room to work like he always has. So this is me, leaping with faith, into next week. To the world it isn't wise, but I'm in the world, not of it.
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