Am I Being Israel?

This morning I've been working on my application to be an RA here on campus next fall. Part of the application process requires that I write a 1-2 page essay about main things or people who have shaped my life. Being the semi-slacker that I am, I though I could pull up something from my past and perhaps use parts of it in my essay. In the process of doing so I began to realize something about myself and my life. My time here at Bethel has been a struggle, my whole college experience in general has been, but the beautiful thing is that God has been here in it all. Below is a clip from something I wrote freshman year...

This fall when I arrived at Bethel University, I thought I had my whole life planned out and knew what I was supposed to do with my life. Within weeks it all crumbles away until I was left searching for the very meaning my existence. It was then that God taught me that I needed to trust him in all things. Even though I had no major, no idea how I was going to pay for college, very few friends, and was homesick, he showed me that I wasn’t in control and if I surrendered everything he would take care of it for me. I just had to follow. If this is where I’m supposed to be (at Bethel), He’ll provided the money, and I believe He will. He also gave me the most amazing group of Godly friends that are so beyond what I could have imagined. They’re not just close friends, their family, brothers and sisters in Christ.

Money has been a constant struggle. I came here not believing I would stay more than a year. I distinctly remember sitting in the Great Hall while the president welcomed new freshmen who in four years would be graduating in that very same room, but even as he said it I "knew" it wouldn't be true. Now here I am 2 years later, back at Bethel despite my "wanderings". I just now realized something mightily important. I've been struggling with being Israel. How is this you might say...well let me explain. I often read the story of Israel and just can't understand how they can keep missing the point. God delivers them, they show disbelief, he provides, the build an idol, he shows them a miracle, they do things their own way. Why can't they just see what God's doing! Why do they forget every two seconds. I'm not going to get into the theology behind it all, but I do want to relate it to my current situation. Bethel is the wilderness, it is a place where God has led me, I don't know where I'm "going" on this journey, but I do know that a promised land (the rest of my life and hopefully a job) is on the . Why is it then than every time I get hung up on finances it seems like the end of the world, and I wish I was "back in Egypt". He delivers me, then a few weeks later I'm crying out for manna, it falls from heaven, and by the next semester I'm dry and thirsty, so he pours forth streams from a rock, but I forget after summer rolls around and...here I am again. God has proven himself so many times in my journeyed at Bethel-even just this week. I don't have any money-I mean none- to be able to pay for next semesters tuition. Logically that = no school, but I know this is where I need to be, this is where I'm called, and if I just get out of my own way God will have room to work like he always has. So this is me, leaping with faith, into next week. To the world it isn't wise, but I'm in the world, not of it.

Chocolate and New Years Resolutions

This year I made many more resolutions than normal. In the past I've given up gum successfully for one year, but that's about the only thing I've resolved. However, this year I gave up chips (except tortilla chips), pledged to read my Bible EVERY day (I've missed a couple already, but have been thus far fairly good), and to memorize a verse every month. For the month of January I've been fasting from Chocolate, which isn't too hard if you set your mind to it. I'm actually thinking about continuing it indefinitely.

Does Packaging Really Matter?

This past week I put myself to shame. My "T" on the Myers Briggs personality test failed me, and was trumped by my cultural up bringing. I was in need of a product, something that is consumed, but that I only need to buy about once a year. As I strolled down the cosmetic isles at my local Target in search of my newest buy a million questions started buzzing through my head. What is the best brand? What color should I get? Which one is the best 'bang for my buck'? I have known that, as with most products, it is important to purchase products that will be used together by the same company. This could be shampoo/conditioner, face washes and moisturizer, etc. The companies design their products to work together so their chemical compounds do not have cross effects when combined. In the past I had mostly purchased Cover Girl, but I had a foundation I really liked from Maybeline and mascara from Neutrogena. See all over the board. I have decided to go for a mineral powder this time, and was considering going for something a little higher quality. So in my search I wasn't just looking for a new foundation, but rather the brand I would dedicate my shopping to for the indefinite future. The best thing they carry that I know of is Physicians Formula. I've heard good things about this company, and was pleased to find out they carry organic make-up. I'm and environmental science major, which DOES NOT mean I'm an organic freak, but the prospect that they were attempting to make a healthful, quality product was encouraging to me. I guess they are the first to have organic mascara, and the packaging is recyclable. I proceeded to look at the product and decided I didn't like the design of the container in which it was packaged (What??). So proceeded to buy a mineral powder foundation from an equally expensive (The physicians formula had a coupon bringing it down $2 from the $11 it normally was), lower quality company which had "cuter" packaging more like what I wanted. After getting to the car I realized my complete stupidity. Not only did I fall victim to the world of marketing and advertising (something I fight against succumbing to) I had also purchased a products of lesser quantity. Yep that’s right. Shameful isn't it. If you know me at all I'm a picky shopper to the max. I look at the nutrition facts to weight health benefits between two comparable products, then I look at the price....not overall, but per oz, per lb, whatever it may be. I don't always go with the 'cheapest' because I believe in quality over quantity, but I still take everything into account. So for me this was a terribly off character decision, so off that I traveled to a different Target (one closer to my school) and returned the stupid thing less than 30 minutes later, and bought the better quality, more for your money product. It turned out that the coupon at the second Target was better than the first and I got an $11 product for only $6. In make-up world that is a good deal!

The Molecule Song

I ain't acetelyne, hydrogen B-Y
I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had an isotope for every half-life
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Valence electrons so low, but shoot 'em up high
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
With a photon and I'll make light
Just not giving up this time
I ain't settling for anything less than chemistry
I ain't settling for anything less than everything

The Molecule Song by Natalie Bell
Settlin' by Sugarland

Outdoor Decorations

I didn't actually do this, but it was a cute forward I got from my cousin:

Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.

Kind of feel like I gave in to the man by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm to near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made him too real this time

So it was fun while it lasted

Christmas to My Ears

Below are links to my favorite Christmas Songs

- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by Mannheim Steamroller.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhc2DSsDhG0

-Winter Wonderland by Jason Mraz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHTE_QQOct8

Chistmas Time is Near

Last night my wonderful roommate and I made a Target run to pick up some decorations and gifts to really get us into the holiday spirit. Although no snow is falling, I'm beginning to slowly get into the Christmas spirit. We now have lights and a tree with a paper angel made by yours truly. Mostly mismatched ornaments, cheap red bows, and colored globes. We're college students, what do you expect? We now have 3 stockings hung near the TV (we don't have a fireplace or chimney-I supposed we could pretend with the range hood). Katie and I found perfect gifts to stuff in them, and much to Alexas anticipation we have not yet told her what they are. Currently I am listening to Christmas music, and remeniscing at the small flakes that were blowing overhead last night when Katie and I walked through the parking lot with our bags full of treasure.